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18 January 2013 @ 07:44 pm
“Young writers should read books past bedtime and write things down in notebooks when they are suppo  
writing was so much easier when i was younger. words just flowed from my brain to my fingers, whether in type or in pen and pencil. I would fill notebooks and the backs of assignment sheets with stories and the worlds that filled my head.

then i was medicated.

it all stopped when i went on to my anxiety meds. my doctor told me it would. warned me that all my creativity would disappear because the pills would put everything on an even keel. that my emotions would become flat and steady, few highs or lows that always made the creative process fly. i'd be able to look people in the eye and pick up the phone to call for a pizza though.

and i can do that. but i can't write. everything is like pulling teeth. the stories are still the there. the complicated worlds that i want to share but bringing them from my head to my fingers on to the paper or the screen is harder than picking up the phone ever was.

i wish i could write the way i used to, with words pouring from me so fast it was hard to keep up. i wish i could read like i used to, devouring books and getting lost in other authors' worlds.

instead i can look a person in the eye and walk away without a flutter of feeling whatsoever.
 
 
 
gallacgallac on January 19th, 2013 10:26 pm (UTC)
awww jay jay

*hugs*

that that has happened to you is so overwhelming.....
Blugh! I don't have the words
*hugs again*